I hope you're wrong about a statute of limitations. My parents never talked about what happened down there, because it was a "private family matter." (Facts about my disability were even kept secret from other family members like the filthy secret of what my disease was called. It's cerebral palsy, not syphillis.) So 10 years passed without the matter being discussed and I've only just started talking with my shrink about it now, ten years after that. A deep culture of shame surrounding my disability was perpetrated in that house and they wonder why I am not a cheery, outgoing disabled rights activist.

That requires believing you deserve the dignity of rights and the only thing that was encouraged in that house was shame and fear. Disabled rights activists also stand up to emotional abuse at the hands of family members. What, do they think we'd avoid that subject out of gratitude for all they've done for us? Like not dumping us on the doorstep of an institution when they could have. Decency tells you not to abandon your child and being grateful does not include covering up emotional abuse. Even though I feel like I'm betraying them for even talking about this.

What right do I have to complain about abuse when these people didn't abandon me in a nursing home for good?

In any case, I am now compelled to seek answers on my own, because as far as my parents are concerned, Montreal is their own private shame. It was my body that was sabotaged, not theirs. They don't have to live with nerve damage for the rest of their lives. I had a right to know of any malpractise in case I wanted to sue the people involved, rather than my parents just hoping that it would all "go away." That's what they are hoping for by staying quiet.

If my parents had any visions of my becoming a ballerina at the Bolshoi, I would suggest they get rid of them now if they haven't already. I am physically disabled and will probably never meet their lofty expectations. They are nearing retirement and I am nearing middle age. GET OVER IT! The shame, the anger, the resentment, the secrecy, just let it die and get on with your lives!

I wouldn't call what you offer me little comfort. It's just I have big problems that can not be easily fixed. You are offering me far more comfort than my parents would or ever could.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.