sometimes I am wondering, too. even though being diagnosed. hard to tell. well I would say that I have been self-pitying in my life before to quite an extend. but this is not a kind of feeling that lasts longer than enjoyable because it was still something I chose. at some point always got bored of it and mostly got angry which turned into some energy to do something about it. now it's different. I am not getting angry about the things that make me miserable. I am just feeling defenseless. with self-pity (if that even exists and I am not so sure either despite writing about it) you are not feeling so defenseless for a long period of time. you would know that you could change something but choose not to.