On my journey of self discovery and self healing I have learned that because I did not have a devoted and attentive care giver that I have issues with attachment, forming new relationships, and intimacy. My mother had borderline personality disorder and he moods changed rapidly and seemingly with no rhyme or reason. This caused me to develop the habit of mind reading, of being hyper aware of her moods and trying to anticipate when a change would be coming so that I could react appropriately. My mother made me feel anxious, powerless, and helpless and forming intimate relationships causing me to experience all those feelings again. I perceive threats where none likely exist and I have no idea how to change this so that my past can stop determining my future.