Lost, I have another idea.

This happened to you in part because you didn't know what to do. And you are not to be faulted for that, because you couldn't have known this would happen.

But there are ways you can protect yourself. I would strongly recommend training in the martial arts, specifically Aikido. The type of martial art you would be looking for would be one that would teach you how to break holds and deal with armed opponents. Each martial art has a different style and was developed for a different purpose.

Some focus on destroying their opponents, others turn an opponent's strength against him. I believe that you would be looking for the latter.

Not only would you be able to protect yourself in the future, you would be taught how to avoid dangerous situations in the first place.

The nice thing about Aikido is the police in Japan use it for subduing suspects without hurting them. Your aim would not be to subdue an opponent, but to escape him or at the very least, make attacking you not worth his while.

Aikido was developed after its creator was challenged to a fight with a naval officer. The creator won by dodging the officer's blows until the latter was exhausted.

The officer was armed with a sword at the time.

You would gain confidence and you would be learning about another culture in the process. You would be disciplining and training your mind at the same time as your body, because martial arts puts a focus on philosophy. You would meet other people too.

I picked Aikido because it looked like something where you would be breaking out of holds and dealing with opponents with weapons. (The ability to break out of holds would be key for you, because that's how this whole nightmare started. You're probably playing the rape over and over again in your mind.) Learn Aikido and learn it well. The rape is over and done with, but at least you can help make sure that it never happens again.

It's another way to gain the power back that was taken from you.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.