Hi BeaFlower. I recognize this feeling. That this feeling has diminished for me over the past few years, is what proves to me that therapy is working. I think it is related to self-esteem. I always felt like i had to perform for my parents - get good grades, be good, be quiet, be the best, whatever. But i think my friends like me for who i am. Because im funny. Because of how i look at things. My politics or my honesty or whatever. They like to be around me, as i like to spend time with them. My family, not so much. It took me a long time yo understand or realize how they truly felt about me, and how it affected me. I think this is a good example. My mother would always look at me at family parties, like she was worried i would say something stupid. I have probably the highest IQ in the family - how stupid can i be? But that made me feel nervous and insecure, without my really realizing why.