I really don't want to dive into the middle of this quagmire, between what is said, how it is perceived...the implied vs the inferred, but, that said, I simply would like to point out....again....that NO person with NPD can be pigeon holed. Period. They are all as diverse as anyone else with a PD. There is no lump category, and no lump prevention, nor cure.

In my experience, for what little it's worth to others and the great amount it is worth to myself and my own survival/sanity.....NPD's don't deliberately gaslight. It is a learned response. It's like...breathing....no, better yet...it's like choosing direction.

You need to go a place, a place you are familiar with. This time, there might be a detour, but you can still find the place of which you search because you've been there so many times before. You know the foliage, you know the street signs, you remember the dog on the corner given to chase, the woman at the bus stop who always looks your way, the man who nearly always sneers at you as you move past....you choose which route will serve you best and you choose them, all without pretense, planning, intricate use of consideration... all to get to the destination you know so well. It's learned, and now it's rote.

If you lose your way, if the detour doesn't pan out, well, you're disappointed. But there's always next time. That the eventual destination is usually a place you don't really want to be, is always less than satisfying, ultimately emptying, and that you are gleaned with the knowledge (even at the beginning of the trip) that you will always have to start all over again...is a frustration the worst navigator on the planet cannot really understand.

This is totally simplistic, but also clearly the way NPD's (for the most part) react to perceived incoming 'threat' or incoming 'attention'. Remember, they've learned this way of being...way of protecting themselves, often from the time most of us are learning to tie our shoes (for those of us old enough to remember that struggle), ride a bike...avoid grandma's ribbon candy.

They have learned to survive emotional abuse using this method. This is NOT a defense mechanism created by stupid people...and I believe there is a high correlation of certain PD's to intelligence.

That they function so well, according to non's who observe them, is amazing. That they really don't function well at all, and most people don't bother to observe THAT....is sad....for the NPD.

Anyway...as you were... *smiles*