♡ feeling very much the same way today myself. Kinda feels hopeless a lot of the time. I've actually found I bounce back quicker without meds, and the lows are not quite as low, but that's just me. I have found intensive therapy in a safe setting also helps, but no real accesses to that at the moment, so left feeling hopeless.
I think recovery is very individual, and different things work for different people. I hope you can find relief soon.