How I wish I was there to sit on the pews with you.

That was one of the most difficult times of my life, looking at him and realizing he'd be next as well as him realizing that I would be alone. He faked a coughing spell and left the church to go outside and regroup, that's how palpable the pain was. I have often tried to write about that day, but it's too painful. I cry as I write this. I miss him.