Hello all, I am new to the group. To get to the point I am a biological male that has been experiencing an increase in my feminine side. I am in my
50's and only began crossdressing four years ago. I have been in a monogamous relationship with a woman for nearly 5 years. My girlfriend sensed that I had "special" qualities. She helped bring these qualities forward
for me. I fully crossdressed for the first time four years ago which included
full makeup, jewely etc.

For the longest time I only felt my feminine, girly side when I dressed in full femme. Lately I have been feeling more girly and feminine when not crossdressing. Sometimes I want to go out dressed as a woman. It has gotten to the point that I want to find the most feminine guy clothes and shoes I can find so I can feel more fem when I go out as a guy.

One main issue is that my girlfriend supports my crossdressing but she doesn't want to live with a woman even 50% of the time. She tells me that she needs a man. Lately I have felt more like a woman than a man. I see women when I am out that look so feminine and I want to be them. I find myself jealous of women because they get to be women everyday and I can't.

I don't know what to do going forward. My girlfriend is the only person that
knows about my feminine side.

Sometimes I wish I had been born a girl. I go to bed at night and think that if I woke up as a woman I would be in heaven.

Does anyone else have these type of thoughts and can you help me?

Thank You,
Lil