((((Sph123))))
You are not the only one. I promise.
If you have MDD (Which it sounds like you do) then one symptom can be hypersensitivity to rejection.

I saw my T twice a week after an episode that landed me in the hospital and seeing him twice a week literally saved my life later on. Once a week would NOT have been near enough, but twice was perfect.
And some people have depression that won't go away un-medicated.
I feel you, friend.
A tip: sunshine makes you a little happier, and so does excercise. It's not cliche. It's true. And I hope you can get connected somehow! That's also super important