Stupid !#%$)^^%&$# red tape! Insurance issues, and he at first refused to see me today because my insurance is still screwed up, even though I agreed to cash pay and the billing office approved me to make payments. It wasn't until the nurse (who was super nice) delivered the news that he wouldn't see me and I ended up fully triggering and doubled over sobbing, telling them I was afraid I'd end up in the hospital manic if I didn't get some help, the nurse and the billing lady, as well as their insurance coordinator (who has spent weeks now trying to help me get things fixed) I think strong armed him into agreeing to see me. Then he seemed mad at me through the whole interview. Said I was sharp and smart and overanalytical, that I need to learn to disassociate from my thoughts more. Oh, and apparently half my problems would be solved by getting more sleep. Well no kidding? I dunno. He did ease up towards the end of the appointment. I have a follow-up with him in a couple of weeks, really hope the insurance is sorted by then because if they try to deny me care again my next question is going to be what their psych ward of choice is cause that's my next stop.

He did admit I seem to be in a hypomanic state right now. He wants to bring my Geodon up to therapeutic levels as fast as he safely can, and raised it from 80 mg to 120mg. He's leaving the Celexa 20mg in place for now, as a safety net for the depression end until we get the Geodon up to therapeutic levels. And with much flair and warnings and conditions on it, he gave me Ativan 1mg prn for anxiety and insomnia. He warned it would knock me out cold in about 15 minutes... Hour and a half later I'm still wide awake, though my mind is the quietest it's been in a long time. I'd forgotten what this quiet state felt like.

He made me sign a narcotics contract before he'd give me the script, which I had to take a paper script to the pharmacy myself, I guess they can't just call this type in. He gave me 14 tablets, sees me again in 2 and a half weeks, and expects me to still have some left over when I see him again. I'm even to bring in the bottle to show him how much I have left. Plus the usual "I will not refill this if you lose it" speech.

He was pleased that I brought the print outs of my posts for him to review, and asked me to continue doing so. So that was one plus.