i guess my little rain shower does not look like much to you does it..

I am sorry I should look beyond my pain and take in to concern others..

It just hurts to see her in so much pain and I can not do anything to help her.. When she is my mom, she is the one who gave me life, this is almost as bad as one of my kids being sick for with them I want to take it away, but with my mom, Moms are not supposed to get sick.. (well not mine)
She has always been ther for me, and now I can not be there for her, and it just pains me not to be.. I wish I could just drop everything and quit my new job, so I could take care of her, but if I do that my new self esteem will fall even more into my pit, and that will not help me at all
I am between a rock and a very hard place right now.. and I do not know what else to do

<font color=red>
I am not worthy of your love
I am not worthy of life
Let me die
Let me die, just let me die