Last night for the first time in years I didn't get drunk on the night off work. Instead my wife and I continued our conversation from Saturday night. She asked if I felt better since my admission, and I do. It's hard to say sometimes, even harder to make some of the admissions I had to make to myself. I am not someone who can alcohol in the house, ever. It was difficult to say that, but I told her my addictive voice is stronger than me, and I have battled it since highschool. I can become stronger than it in time, but it will always be there, waiting. And I have come to terms with it, it's existence is not to be belittled, I must always respect it's hold over me, that is the only way I can overcome it is to learn to live with it, we are going to coexist in the same mind and body forever, I just have to work on becoming the dominant voice.