Littlemeinside,
I wanted to say thank you for posting the link, you sent an amazing amount of people my way, I really appreciate it. I am really glad you found the article helpful. There is a follow up called "Therapy isn't enough redux" if you're interested. (Would have posted a link but don't have enough posts yet, but you should be able to search for it). I am also very flattered that you thought I was a therapist. But I'm just a client who has spent WAY too much time in therapy.

Glitterrosez89,
I understand why you would get the impression that my T was playing mind games, but I want to assure it that mind games are the last thing he would ever do. He once told me that he's not a strategic therapist because he's not smart enough. He believes, and I have come to agree with him based on my experience, that what you need to deal with in therapy tends to come up in therapy. He has told me that he would never lie to me, nor set up a situation and I trust that. From what you are describing about what you want out of therapy, this is just not the kind of work you are doing, which is perfectly ok. I think every individual is unique, so we're not all looking for the same thing out of therapy. I've had to go so deep because my injuries were done over a long period during some crucial developmental years. I envy people who do not need to do this!

Jaybird,
I very much appreciated your comment and agree with what you said. Not all therapists are up for this work. I often tell people that its best to start small and when you talk to your therapist about a boundary issue, watch for two things. Do they stay non-defensive and do they focus on your feelings? If they do neither, it might be best to go look for another therapist if you have depth work to do. BN models non-defensiveness better than anyone I have ever known (I have learned alot from watching him) which is good because I've thrown a lot his way. We have also talked about the fact that so much of the work is done around a client's reactions to the boundaries which is why even though the boundaries stay intact, any and all of my feelings can be discussed and even normalized. But I think you're quite correct that just because someone is a therapist, doesn't automatically mean that they deeply understand boundaries.

AG