for some reason i fall deeply into loops of negative thoughts it's ver hard even to sitract myself from them...

also i don't believe in "the right person"... it's either a matter of luck or the "right person" is just a "wrong person" who had bad experiences and changed behaviour due to that.

for some reason i can't just see the person she'd be in the present, i would fiercely turn her down because of her past. i have no interest in people whose past i don't know.