It is really depressing when 10 years ago when I took out the loans I thought I was doing the right thing by getting an education and thinking I would then be able to take care of myself and hopefully take care of my mom too. Neither my parents nor my older siblings had gone to college and we didn't have any experience with student loans. I wish we were not so ignorant in the difference between private and federal loans, but I can't do anything about that now. What was done was done. If I thought at the time it was a bad decision I would not have done it. Right now Sallie Mae wants me to send them 2/3 of my monthly pay check and that is on their lowest payment plan. It is just not possible and I am tired of having the same conversation with them week after week. They have even started calling my work, though my supervisor told them not to call anymore. It is very embarrassing to have to discuss on the phone with complete strangers my financial standings and what I need to spend money on. I send them $382 a month as it is, but it is not enough. I know I need to call them again for my weekly "check in" but I am terrified and the anxiety is killing me. I am not shirking my responsibilities, I work 2 jobs and barely make $15000 a year. Also, I am currently looking for better paying full-time jobs. I am not sitting on my couch, eating bonbons, and living off other people. I am working 2 jobs, studying for the GREs, and job hunting everyday. Yet every time I get a call from Sallie Mae I feel so lazy and worthless.