I might have the winner here...

I'll try to make a long story short. My mother had 7 kids and didn't raise any of them. She left us oldest 3 with our dad. Repeat twice more. I loved her and she hurt (emotionally) all of us repeatedly throughout our childhoods. When I grew up and got married and pregnant she came to live with/near us. She wasn't any better of a grandmother than she was a mother. Through the years I tried many many times to have a normal mother-daughter relationship with her, only to be shot down each time.
(I was the second child and oldest girl.) I was married to my second husband who was much older than me, actually closer to her age than mine. He was the love of my life and he had 4 daughters and I bore his only son. My mother became infatuated with my husband. He did not return her feelings, but tolerated her as a friend. My husband and I were both damaged goods, and the day came when he left me. I loved him and did not want a divorce but I filed because I didn't want to live in limbo for a long time. I cried non stop for months, even at our divorce hearing. I called my mom to tell her our divorce was final. She said "Oh good, I can have him now"...

I know the abuse you all suffered was horrendous, and I had some of the same experiences. But I have to say this incident chilled my heart more than any other.
(((hugs to all)))