You sound so hopeless. I'd like to find a way to show you that things can change and can be better, but you are so afraid, I think, that you don't seem to be able to allow for the possibility that you have any potential. I can understand that, because I've been there too, and stayed there for way too long, but eventually I did start to change. If I can do it, I believe that you can too.

Hmm, what do you think could be the payoff for you in remaining stuck? I know that's a hard question, because if I try to answer it for myself I always say there is no payoff that is worth all that, but there must be something if we keep doing it and resist change so strongly.

I can tell you you do have strengths. You are persistant and strong-willed. You can choose how you use those strengths. I don't doubt that you have others to that either you aren't aware of right now or you don't want to admit (to us or to yourself).