It came as a surprise to me that there are so many people in similar situations to mine.

It's always been said of me that I am a loner, but it's progressed to alone, with no one who is a friend and my only family is a sister and a daughter, both live in different states.

I realized just how bad it was on Valentine's Day, this year, after I let myself take a chance on someone 2 1/2 yrs. ago.
I didn't listen to the warning voice that would tell me something wasn't right sometimes, but once it all ended every bit of self confidence and anything else I had was taken away.

I had known some things and a relative of this person had let some things slip, so after it all ended and I was accused of it all being my fault and maybe it had to do with the way my parents treated me when I was growing up was all thrown back in my face, via email, in my heart I knew it wasn't true.

I hope no one ever has the displeasure to meet a person who can instantly tell/read you and what you need. They then become everything you ever thought the perfect person would be for you.

Once it was over I came to realize something I had known prior to this experience and that was that there was truly no one who cared what happened to me.
Sure, I had 2 people who gave lip service, but when I said I really needed someone just to be with me for awhile it was not what they cared to do.

I live by myself and have since 2006, I had decided that I could make it that way and had no real problems until now.

Since February I have bad crying spells and feel worthless and hopeless. When I look at my life right now I just end up confirming what I feel.

A perfect example is near the end of September I have to have surgery, in a town about an hour drive from where I live and where my 2 "friends" live. As of this moment I have no idea how I am going to get there to have the surgery, which is being done as outpatient even though I should stay at least one night.

I have been told I will not be allowed to drive either way, and am trying to figure out what to do. It is my third surgery for this problem and needs to be done, but unless I can find a "Rent a Friend" service I'm not sure what will happen.

To me I am totally alone, a lot of people have family or others nearby that they may or may not talk to or see. I have no one, if I had a heart attack and died in my house it would be months before anyone decided to send the police to come check on me.

I have been wanting to see if I could afford to buy a house in the state I am originally from since June, but I don't know what to do once I get there so I have been putting it off.
I don't know anyone there, except my sister and she is no help.

I decided I'd go before the operation, but now I just can't seem to think of what to do once I get there. I know you need a realestate agent, but I also have dealt with ones before and I basically found the house I am living in now, even though I had an agent. So since I won't have but a few days to just look and see what is there I'm not sure I will be able to make myself go no matter how much I want to.

I guess I answered my question, but I did want anyone who is lonely or feels like no one cares there are more people out there than you realize that feel the very same way.