I think that is the depression talking...I am depressed - deeply depressed - and when I'm like this the illogical thoughts that accompany this illness come on like gangbusters. Though I know I've done good things, and will likely do more, depression "convinces" me that I'm a total failure and will never achieve anything. All that I can do is doubt that strongly, all the time. It's a struggle of late, but there is nothing else that I can do other than keep fighting. I wish you well in your struggle, and hope that more people provide input to this serious matter...