samantha i wish my sister took me seriously enough to say anything other than "get your ***** together". of course shes kind of a mess herself only in a different way.

i've picked up the phone a few times determined to call the local mhc. it seems so simple when i just think about it but when it comes down to actually doing it its a different story. i always panic and hang up. i've lived most of my life like this and change is a very very scary prospect. i hate that weakness that makes me hang up the phone, i know the help is there but it's damn hard to reach out for it.