Yesterday our landlord came into our apartment to look at our electricity and said we needed to clean up because our place was a mess. We cleaned a lot but both sinks are still filled with dirty dishes. I can't stay home. Every day my husband is at work I go to a family members house because if I stay home, I just sleep a lot and put my son in his crib so I can rest or let him play in his room while I rest on the floor. But either way, whether I stay home or go out, the dishes just don't get done and I can't ask my husband to do them because he works all day. I have anxiety about doing them, I keep feeling like if I do them there will just be more and more dishes, I will never get them done! But I am anxious thinking about them sitting there forever too. I'm horrified. How do I get past this? Tomorrow I go out of town for my son's appointment so I will be gone all day. I'm thinking about trying to stay home friday but I'm just so scared I will sleep all day. I keep waiting for a 'good day' to come by so I will feel like cleaning, but if a good day does come, cleaning seems like such a waste of such a good mood! Has anyone gone through anything similar to this? I just want to be a better mother and a better wife. BUt everything about being either one of those horrifies me. I wish sometimes that I would never had kids or that I should have waited and I hate those feelings because my son is everything to me.