I know how scary change can be. Oh goodness do I know! Been there in your shoes my friend for far to many years myself. What I can tell you is that there is so much better beyond that point, beyond where you are now. I spent to many years a shut in, living in fear and pain, afraid of change, of doing something. Yes, I had my sisters help to take that first step, but once I did, I'm slowly walking on my own. In October of last year I drove from Jersey out to my sisters house in Denver all by myself and spent a couple of months. Then I drove back and stopped by an old roommates house in Ohio to visit with him and his fiancee. Was a cool trip and something I wouldn't have been able to do with out having taken the first step forward. I know how hard it is. My life still isn't perfect, and it isn't anything like it once was, but I'm making progress little bit at a time. So I'm holding on to that! I even go to curves now three times a week, which when I send this, I'm going there, because it helps.

Hang in there! Just remember, one step forward. Then, get your feet under you, stand, take a deep breath, or two or three, and then another small step. Write down the steps, the victories, no matter how small. It really helps to look back and see the thinks you have done, and haven't!

Hang in there, I know how hard it is to change and grow, and how easy it is to si.

With love and light,

Sam