Hi Everyone,

This may be long winded so I apologise if it makes no sense.

I am new to this forum and just need some small words of advise, clarity and support in my recent decisions and how changes are now effecting my life.

My parents recently (about 6 months ago) advised they are going to divorce, their marital home was placed on the market (sold within 2 weeks) and both my mother and father moved in with me. To cut that part short, the house sold faster than expected and neither had considered alternatives. We dont have family here in AUS and as the good daughter I am I offered my father temp lodging in my home and my mother general lodging, maybe even long term lodging depending on circumstance. My father has since moved in to a rental... now here in lies my issue.

My mother has been living with my partner and I (I am 22, he is 32) for about 3 months now. We both agreed to accommodate her, short or long term unless it becomes unbearable. (Thank god I have such a wonderful partner). The situation came about since my mother hasnt worked full time in over 15 years (sporadic work every now and the, maybe 2+ days a week - never full time) and she has always relied on my father financially. She is the one who called for divorce knowing financially all she had to support herself is the amount they both agreed upon during house settlement and partial amounts of my fathers super.

My mother flew home to her parents - intending to live there, thinking they would support her... after a few weeks that didnt work out as they were (I assume) putting fire up her *** to work full time and learn to support and look after herself if she couldnt face being with my father. She ended up coming to me and moving in. Thinking it would be a walk in the park for her and she would have more financial freedom.

As of late, she has been working 3 days up to 7 per week earning an income 2 blocks away at a small shop. (Which is what she needed to do because we are not paying for her or supporting her). She has her own room and tv which we installed plus has full access to the house and everything in it. Usually we cover 90% of all food and bills, unless she wants personal items for herself and as for the phone well she pays a few dollars if she has been making international calls. All good.

Recently I have started full time university and had to quit my job (I am looking for another) and while I am accommodating these changes I seem to have to always accommodate and support her. She has attempted a few times to assert her authority as my mother and expects things to be a particular way. I am beginning to feel mildly uncomfortable with how things are going... and I have woken up this morning with a number of thoughts and feelings towards the situation we are now in:

- I feel somewhat used, as I (being her daughter, she does have a son my age also but he doesnt live in his own home and cannot offer any genuine support of any sort through this divorce) believe she has moved in with me thinking it was a better option, no one to tell her what to do and what not. Or because she is my mum she thought it would be different.

- I feel she is guilt tripping us in some ways. She earns significantly less that my partner (who is covering me at the moment (by choice)) and always happens to voice that she earns less so we can cover such and such etc. I feel this is not fair in any way shape or form. She is a grown woman and should have considered her financial circumstances and what would happen before she called for divorce.

- She is taking over my space. We have a small 3 by 2 so we dont have much individual space. She can be helpful but also extremely lazy and i feel like I have to be the adult alot. Covering dinner and accommodating her and my partner. Changing my washing days or she complains etc when its our house?

- She has started to add her personal opinions when it comes to my relationship which I feel is none of her business (though it is unfortunate she is in my space) and has made some points including this morning about how I stress over nothing...(may be true but my personal space is now hers and I feel like I am constantly having to prove through actions what is expected in our household - making sure I clean everyday, dishes are done, dinner is cooked etc.

- When I discuss things with my partner he chooses not to communicate about it. He is happy dont get me wrong, always accommodated for. But he wont support me while she is here, maybe considering doing dinner or cleaning up more effectively etc as its my mum so he doesnt want to have to get involved. It is only small things I would like a hand with so its hard for me to comprehend.

Aside from all this plus more (sorry I am extremely aggrivated and confused, and just need to get some stuff off my chest). My mother is a hypocondriac and
constantly makes excuses, is negative and for whatever reason has a belief that someone is expected to look after her and support her.

In the long term I am in fear I am going to be stuck with her, supporting and looking after her. I dont know what the future holds but she doesnt like having to work (she walked out on her job twice) luckily she got it back. She talks negatively about everyone and everything. Can be a real hypocrite and makes me so frustrated. I watch how she treats my things and talks and cant help but associate those actions as things she would have attacked me for and berated me for, had I been in her home and using her things.

I feel really angry, hurt and stuck.

Please help me clarify my thoughts. I feel so alone in who I can speak to and I am trying hard to be a good person. I feel personally no one has considered how everything is affecting me.