If I send this to my therapist do you think she will threaten a miw? She has done it before, told me if I didn't go to the er she would place one on me. I need her help but, again, the hospital will mess everything up. Here is the text:

Do you remember when you told me that if I called you feeling very suicidal you wouldn't necessarily recommend the hospital? I'm needing this to be that night. I am barely staying alive but I have the idea that my family would be devastated to hold onto. I talked to Corey about the prospect of the hospital last night (if absolutely necessary) so he knows how bad I've become but I just don't have the heart to directly talk about suicide. Today (all day) I've been hanging by a thread. I just have to get through tonight, and I'm already tired. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm sorry Dr. I don't need to talk, I just needed you to know how inescapable it feels and how appeasing my death seems. I've just felt like today I will actually do it, or at least finalize the details so I can do it without the kids. Thank God I haven't but I feel like eventually this will be how I die. Thank you for listening.