I lost my temper and smashed my children's lamp in their room while they cowered in their beds. This is not usual for me. It's extreme. But my kids know how to push my buttons like no one else. How I handle my temper is my own responsibility. I regret acting out enormously. I've been here before, a long time ago, and meds have quieted things down but I've not had enough sleep and that makes me more edgy. They're still awake at 10:30 at night and don't listen when we speak calmly. I should call a counselor tomorrow to discuss this and get parenting advise. I should probably call my pdoc too. It's been a veeery long time since I've seen her. I'm ashamed.