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Originally Posted by Mrs. Mania
I can totally relate! I too thought my mania was normal and that pesky depression was my only problem. Also, my depression sucks to the point I will do anything to avoid it . I have always thought everything bad came from it while only good came from"normal" times. In reality, most of my lost jobs came during " normal" times and spiraled me downwards into horrible places that leads to my depression! When medicated, I do struggle-I miss "normal" me and do feel flat, it's always been hard for me to stay on my meds because of it. Good luck, I hope you find a balance that works for you.
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I can definitely relate to what you're saying. Last night, I sat down and wrote down every suspected manic and hypomanic episode that I could specifically recall, in chronological order. I realized that I lost three jobs in a row, all for attendance issues, and always when I was feeling up, never depressed. It's just so strange looking back at my life through the lens of a person with bipolar. Really makes you look at your decisions a lot differently.
I'm sorry to hear it's hard for you to find your balance with your meds. I understand that's a struggle for many, and one I'm not looking forward to grappling with myself. I hope you can find the right variables to keep you feeling good and not flat!
