today i went to see this doctor, it wasnt a pdoc, this doctor is to review my benifits,
when i first saw the doctor i was calmed by the fact the doctor was a woman, she called me into a examination room, offered me a coffee and asked if i wanted katheryn to join us, i replied no to both these questions. she then went on to ask me three questions.
1. what meds do i take ...........
2. do i still have feelings of ending it.............
3. do i go out much ............

my answers where hard to talk about, so i just shut my eyes and went for it.

1. mirtazapine , lansoprazole ,
2. yes most days
3. i only go out when im with katheryn or the kids.

the meeting lasted for about 5 minutes, and it ended with this doctor holding my hands and telling me " your so brave for coming to see me" and " i know how hard it must of been for you "

so now i wait, wait for her to write her report and send it to head office. so i still dont know if im ill or a fake.

on a better note................ i have an appointment with my pdoc in june, it arrived this morning, so soon maybe i will get some meds that work for me.
thank you all
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
dec xox