When i was 13 years old i started going to counseling and they had told my mom that i was depressed and filled with anger. I didn't want to go to school or go out with my friends anymore i just wanted to be alone. When i was younger my best friend died when she was 18 and then a couple months after that my great aunt who i was really close to died and thats when everything went down hill. I am now 18 and things have been getting a little bit better since then but i have lost two more people that i was really close to my aunt and uncle died. My aunt died in february of a stroke she was in the hospital on life support for 4 days and the family decided it was her time to go it killed me inside when my mom told me that she was gone all i did was cry for days because she was like a second grandmother to me, My fiance at the time did everything he could do to help me he would just hold me while i cried or talk to me but nothing would make me feel better i just wanted to hear her voice one last time. My family had just went and saw her not even a week before this happened. my uncle died last august of cancer him and i werent really close but he was a great guy and loved by everyone. Shortly after all this happened my fiance and i started fighting because he always wanted to go out and do something and he wouldnt go with out me so i pretty much just stayed in my room. The fighting got worse and worse day by day to the point he started hitting me and telling me i was worthless well i still stayed with him because i loved him i mean we were getting married in june well now that didnt happen. My family didnt get involved in my relationship with him so when this all started to happen i turned to his mother and she would talk to him and then he would get mad and blame it all on me. He is a great guy and i do still have feelings for him but im trying to move on. Right now im involved with someone i shouldnt be and i know what im doing is wrong so im trying to figure out how to break it off but im working on it. Lately i have started to feel like i did before just wanting to sleep and not do anything i havent even wanted to talk to my friends or my boyfriend and i just dont know what to do. I thought things would change as i get older but it seems like things are just getting worse and and i dont know how to talk to my mom or anyone about it. I really need some advice because things are starting to hurt me and my friends and i really dont want to do that because i start college in a couple weeks and i wanna be able to get up and go to school in the morning and pass my classes so i can get out in the world and help people just like i dream too