Well, I've been off my meds for a little over a year, "depakote made my hair fall out & I just stopped taking everything", and I'm about to lose my mind. I called my therapist to make an appointment but it will be three more weeks till they can get me in. I'm rapid cycling several times a day & honestly I'm loosing touch on reality. How is it even possible to be very depressed and hypo manic at the same time?
I feel euphoric for 5 minutes them I'm crashing back down to darkness. All the while i'm so aggravated my body is humming with hatred.
On top of all that my anxiety is so bad I can't be around people & driving is just a hassle most days.
I'm ready to snap, scream, cry and beg all at the same time.
Is there anyone else here like that?
Oh, my doc said i'm bipolar, but I don't quite fit because I haven't had a full blown manic episode. So she said I have a mood disorder (NOS)
Mood disorder my butt!!! I'm loosing it

It's a shame the depakote made my hair fall out. It actually worked when nothing else would.. I want to go back on it but I don't want to lose my hair. Is that awful?

I can't take anti depressants because I literally flip out. Although nobody has put me on a antidepressant and a mood stabilizer at the same time.
I don't want to be a emotionless zombie, neither do I want to be depressed.

Does any of this make sense or am I rambling on? My mind never stops so sometimes I is hard for me to slow it down & put everything into words..... Sigh