So I feel ****ing ugly this evening. I feel so inadequate, like I don't deserve to be here. And I guess I'm posting this more out of desperation than anything else, because I honestly don't expect anyone to be able to help me. I'm incapable of being helped, in my opinion. But anyway...I wish more than anything else right now that I could be like other girls, because they're skinny, or they have big boobs, or they're funny and smart. But I am none of those things. I'm nothing. It seems like all the other girls around me are so beautiful and I'm not. You know, they only tell you how to love yourself if you're a skinny girl who feels fat, they don't tell you what to do when you're actually fat. Or else they throw you some ******** thing about curvy girls being sexy, but hell, I don't even fit into the 'curvy' category. I don't even have breasts or hips or an ***. I don't even have that much going for me. I'm just plain fat and nobody knows how to help a girl who's just plain fat, apparently. Do fat girls even deserve to love themselves? I just...I'm sorry for the big *****ing rant you guys, I just feel like everyone else is beautiful and I'm not. I don't know what to do. I feel like I have no place in this world because I'm ugly, and who wants you if you're ugly? Or at least that seems to be how society looks at things. I mean, I already know that guys my age (17) aren't into girls like me at all, they'd pass me up for my mom before they'd even consider hooking up with someone like me. And I know that girls hate being catcalled, and I hate it too, I find it disrespectful both as a feminist and as a human being. But a part of me craves that kind of attention. I just feel like if I had some random guy hit on me, at least then I would know that I'm attractive to at least one person out of 7 billion. But no. I've never been hit on or whistled at, hell, I consider myself to be lucky if I can even get a guy to look at me with something other than disgust in his eyes. I feel like I'm just repelling to the entire male species in general. Again, I'm sorry for the rant you guys. I'm sorry. I just feel like everyone else is beautiful and I'm not.