ThisIsTough said, "I hate what I have done. I don't like what I do, but I guess when I feel horny and aroused and I'm in a situation like that, it happens. I just don't understand. I feel like crap."

I want to add another thought to my previous ones: Because of my own similar fetish for panties, I understand what you are saying. Being in the grips of fetish behaviour is rather like being in an alternate universe, where the unthinkable becomes a undeniable need, and then, afterwards, it becomes unthinkable again. It seems to be and perhaps is an unbreakable cycle. From a lot of the reading I have done about fetishes, it seems that our brain chemistry is working differently than that of people who don't have fetishes. Inhibitions drop away, and we find it dead easy, in the moment, to justify what we are doing. Then, afterwards, and presumably after levels of the "guilty" chemicals have fallen, we experience guilt.

I think we really need to rethink guilt and shame when it comes to fetishes. Our society has long since determined that people who murder as a result of mental illness are not "guilty" in the traditional sense, but unwell. We treat psychoses with drugs, not talk therapy or incarceration. Likewise, people with sexual fetishes are at the mercy of their brain chemistry, not their logical thought processes. After years of thinking of myself as a pervert, and the only person in the world who did the things I do, I have learned that I'm not a pervert, nor alone with my fetishes. Instead, I am a person who, for unknown reasons, found unusual ways to express myself sexually. That's OK, as long as I don't drag other people into my sexuality.

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