Zinco gave excellent advice. So what can you do for YOU? Addiction is a family disease. Everyone is affected by it not just the addict. Alanon was a good suggestion. It's a support group for people affected by the disease. It may seem down/negative...the reason is they are suffering like you! They are needing support. Why not give another try. Maybe go to a different meeting. But be warned. Everyone at alanon is in some stage of getting well.
Another thought...I'm close to your age so I hope you'll be receptive to my thoughts. Volunteer for a worthy cause or help the needy in some way. Reach out to others. You'll be surprised how your presence can brighten someone else's day. It'll brighten your day too and perhaps a friendship occurs.
I'm glad you found us. Stay in touch. We care about you.