Quote:
Originally Posted by hvert
Personally, I would not move in given these circumstances. You can't really demand that she give up her pet and she can't demand that you suddenly become unallergic. There's a sort of fundamental incompatibility.
Having you sleep on the couch instead of the dog sounds insulting to me. The only way I could understand that one is if it has to do with the twin bed and not the dog -- two people in a twin can be impossible. Are you going to have a bigger bed when you move in together?
I am not sure if you have lived with a significant other before -- if you haven't, it's a lot of work and A LOT of compromise, sometimes so much compromise that living alone seems preferable.
I would try to have a conversation with her about how you will handle these kinds of differences when they come up, just generally.
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I totally agree with this; it's difficult to admit that this could jeopardize the relationship, but I'm not so infatuated with her as to ignore this problem. The thing with sleeping on the couch came about because of the twin, and her unwillingness to make the dog sleep on the floor (the two of us fit fine on the bed, just very snug.) But yes, luckily we will have a bigger bed when we move in. She did very nearly make her mother sleep in the twin so we could comfortably sleep with the dog. I might add that this was totally out of the question for both me and her mother. :P
Also, I have not lived with a significant other before. I'm aware that it'll be a lot of work and compromise, in some part of my brain. I'm just not crazy about the idea of the sacrifice being all on my end, you know what I mean? So yeah, I think I'll definitely have to discuss it with her, and figure out how we can work disagreements like this out in the future.
(BTW: I have not yet signed a lease.)
@trippin2.0, Thanks. I hope you're wrong, but I see how you could be right. So you don't think that it's absolutely necessary to sleep with your service dog if you're being treated and are totally fine sleeping without them when they're not in the house?
I'm sorry, but I was hesitant to confront her about this mainly because I'm in no position to presume anything about her disorder, not having BP myself. This is the biggest reason why I haven't gotten into a more serious discussion about it with her thus far. I don't want to act like I KNOW that she doesn't need the dog to sleep.
She claims that as long as the dog is in the same house with her at night, she needs to sleep with her. Does this sound to anyone like a legit reason, or like an excuse due to stubbornness? I don't know if I can judge, or if anyone else can, but I know that I feel uncomfortable telling her that her bipolar is stable enough to where she doesn't need the dog to sleep on the bed with her each night; I don't have experience with disorders that involve emotional support animals.
But yes, I agree that I will not put up with being kicked out of the bed for long AT ALL. I was telling my sister today that if my GF even suggests getting separate beds, or either of us sleeping on the couch...I don't know if I can go through with the move, and maybe not even the relationship. I need to know what priority I hold in her life, and I'm sorry, but my health as well as my relationship with her should be more important. I mean, for god's sake, she listened to me wake up several times during the night the other night, sneezing and itching my eyes and sniffling, and each time she woke up and noticed her dog had left the bed because there wasn't enough room, so her primary concern was getting the dog back onto the bed. This is just odd to me, and I'm feeling a bit like my needs and health are not above her personal desire to sleep with her dog on her priority list, which is upsetting.
I hope this doesn't seem too entitled, but I do feel a bit entitled, unashamedly.