I agree with hvert. You are not cold and mean for wanting your life back. It's not as if your mother was suffering from a terminal illness or old age or something. She chose to get divorced and she's going to have to figure out how to support herself and find her own place to live.

It's not your job to take care of your able-bodied mother who does not like working, either inside or outside the home. You did a wonderful thing by offering them shelter when their lives became chaotic. But it's just not fair to expect your partner or yourself to support your mother. If you're 22, it's likely she's still young enough to work and take care of herself. You've given her time to get back on her feet. You did good. Your next job is to figure out how to get your own life back.

If the situation continues as it is, you may see your wonderful partner withdrawing and detaching more and more. The fact that your mother doesn't do her fair share of household chores while she's being 90% supported would be enough to cause resentment in anyone except an extremely wealthy person with money to burn. Does that describe your boyfriend or you?

If your university offers therapy services to students or if Australia's medical system covers therapy, it might be a good idea to talk to a counselor, not because you have a mental disorder, but because you need some guidance to help you figure out how to avoid enabling your mother's dependency. If you don't get some help, you're likely to end up feeling resentful, depressed or anxious, as well as estranged from your partner, while your mom thrives like a pampered cat. That just wouldn't be right.

I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this difficult situation.