Don't beat yourself up. You are human, and a bipolar human.

Pppptttthhh, broke a lamp? That is minor league rage!
4 years ago, I was punching holes in the walls. My wife locked me in the downstairs once, and I broke the ****ing door into pieces with my body. She was terrified, but I got counseling.

Get counseling, therapy, etc. best idea ever! But forgive yourself right now, it is OK.