I'm sad and angry. I hate myself to the point of where I start projecting the hate towards anyone and everyone. I want to escape myself and it makes me itch to hurt myself.

I'm living with my boyfriend and his friend, and I know my boyfriend would help but he just doesn't get it and it makes him sad when I talk about it so I keep it to myself. As for his friend, I don't really feel like I want to tell him anything. I'm not sure if I can really talk about it to anyone comfortably so I'm posting here.

I keep feeling and seeing it happen in my mind. I feel like I'm just going to explode. It hurts so much, I want to lie down and just get still. Idk how to get over this, I feel like I'm going crazy.

The feelings die down and rage back up and it makes it so hard for me. I hate that I'm weak and I hate that I can't just be happy with anything. I hate the underlying sadness I feel and the emotional roller coaster I'm going to end up going on again.

I guess I'm posting for support, advice, insight. Anything anyone has to offer will help, I just can't feel alone right now.