I am dealing with a situation very similar to this. The disapproving mother is my friend. The disapproval has been happening for several years now. I tell the baffled son that if he's old enough to get married, then he's old enough to no longer need his mother's approval, so get on with his life.

Written down, that sounds harsh, but in real life it's delivered with a smile and a hug. Mom is a wonderful person in most ways, but on this subject she's completely unreasonable. I don't know why. She makes herself sick over it.

Please hug your wife, tell her it will be all right and enjoy your honeymoon first years of marriage without allowing your mom's disapproval to wound you.

I strongly suggest you accept your mother's disapproval without disapproving back or trying to change her mind. Remember special occasions, such as her birthday, send a card or flowers or present, whatever you'd normally do, except maybe put yourself in line for abuse. Expect nothing back from her. Love her, even if she's acting immaturely about your marriage. Let her know you love her and that your love is not conditional on her giving you approval.

It would be nice to have her blessing, but you and wife can live happily without it. You may have to build and maintain a separate relationship with your father, one that does not include both mom and dad at the same time. Maybe you and your dad will have to meet somewhere to go fishing instead of meeting up at the family home. If they live some distance away and you choose to visit, stay at a motel, especially if you take your wife. Now that you're an adult you get to make these decisions on your own and if your mother doesn't like it, just smile and say it's what you're most comfortable with.

Maybe your mom will come around. Maybe she won't. Most likely she'll come around grudgingly once she sees that you're able to live your life happily without her blessing. If you act miserable about her lack of approval, it will be tremendously reinforcing to her in a weird sort of way.

My friend, the mom who won't give her approval to her son's marriage, she's the one who's suffering the most. Her refusal and resentment hurts her and keeps her from her grandchildren. Her son's enjoying his life. I hope you'll do the same. It's not the best way to start a marriage, but it's the way my own parents started.

Congratulations on your marriage. I hope you and your bride spend many happy years together.