I have two kinds of SI -- one when I'm very emotional and angry with myself and another when I'm very calm, no real trigger other than I want to cut. I've learned to stop the former pretty well by reaching out to my husband, but the latter has happened a lot over the past month and it scares me because I just decide I want to cut or injure myself with no real emotion behind it other than a sense of satisfaction when I've done it. I just got out of the hospital today and had a therapy appt tonight. My therapist wants me to keep a picture of my husband and kids on my phone to look at when I want to cut but I don't feel like that's going to be enough of a deterrent. I'm so focused that it's hard to stop myself. I've read over the sticky about ways to stop SI but nothing is really leaping out at me except maybe drawing on my arm or leg with a fine point sharpie or something like that but that only seems to delay the inevitable because then I want to see it in blood. Has anyone ever felt like this? It scares me and I really want it to stop.