I completely empathize with you. I have a paper that was due Saturday, that I'm going to end up taking an incomplete grade on for the class so I can finish it, because for the life of me, I have not been able to get it together. I know I "should" be able to, but it's just not happening.

I'm sorry to hear you don't have a constant therapeutic outlet right now. It's always hard managing symptoms day to day, I cannot imagine how much more difficult it is doing it alone.

Some advice I always try to remember when experiencing similar things is to go easier on myself. I'm really, really hard on myself, and especially when it comes to anything academically related, so I try to keep that in perspective. I also try to avoid "shoulding" all over myself, (i.e., I should be able to write this paper, I should have been done with this and that other assignment by now, etc.). If I break those statements down with logic, they're really irrational comparisons of myself to some "idealized version" of my most productive self, and it's just not fair to compare my depressed or down self to my productive self. Apples and oranges, as they say.

Just doing what you can do is enough to be proud. Just getting out of bed is sometime a huge triumph for the day. It's all relative. I agree with the previous suggestion about chunking things. I've done that before... set a timer for 10 minutes, do as much work as you can, then take a 10 minute break. I find it helps because I get really easily cognitively overloaded when I'm down or out of it, and breaking up tasks into smaller parts does help a lot. Makes it feel much less overwhelming. Instead of "four assignments and a paper to write," suddenly it's just "ten minutes of work." And it makes you feel like you're accomplishing more because you see your progress building, bit by bit. The key is really to try to forget the bigger picture of what's due, and only focus on that ten minute window at a time. Hang in there, and don't be too hard on yourself with the negative self talk! You wouldn't be in university if you were "stupid," so that's a ridiculous, irrational notion. You can do it!