Hello ThisIsTough: You've received some excellent replies here. I doubt I could add anything of significance to what's already here.

I just wanted to say I understand how you're feeling about what you've been doing. I think it's excellent you've been able to share this with your T.

I'm a life-long transsexual (MtF). I never transitioned, however, & I've always lived a more-or-less normal male life, except that as a result of my Gender Identity Disorder I have been burdened with all sorts of weird stuff that I have simply been unable to control. And, as a result, I carry around a whole cargo ship full of secret embarrassment & shame. (Reading all of the replies to your post has helped me too.)

I don't know what the answer to this kind of thing is, other than to try to accept it & learn ways to satisfy the compulsions that don't negatively impact others. It's complicated, at least from my perspective...

Anyway I just wanted to share something of myself with you & wish you the best of success.