I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. I get akathisia from Abilify, and I cannot freaking take it anymore. Also hate the weight gain. I'm talking to my pdoc tomorrow about switching to something else. Maybe there's something you can change in your meds that will be easier to deal with?

I just found out I have BP I last week. I was dx'd with PTSD back in June of 2010; dealt with major depression for many years. I found I felt the most paranoid when my PTSD flares up. It took about two years for my PTSD to subside after the initial dx, then I had my first retrigger last October which brought back all those paranoid (among other things) feelings. At least, I always attributed my paranoia to PTSD, but I've noticed many people mentioning paranoia as a symptom of their BP, so it makes me wonder if it's better accounted for by BP? Or maybe it's worsened when a person has both PTSD and BP? I still get a lot of paranoid thoughts around/about other people, which I previously attributed to social anxiety or PTSD, but now I'm thinking it's more likely a function of my BP, or some kind of interaction between PTSD and BP.

You're definitely not alone, and I wish you the best in managing your symptoms. Just the fact that you're cognizant of your paranoia is a huge thing and means you can work with it, so don't give up. Maybe some cognitive behavioral therapy to help with rationalizing thinking when you get paranoid thoughts? Everything takes time and it sucks, and as lame as it sounds, sometimes you just have to take it one day at a time, and that's 100% okay. Hang in there.