I agree Alison.

I woke up this morning feeling essentially calm and ok. The meds they have me on have stabled out a lot of the fluctuations and on reflection I do feel at present that I have come on in leaps and bounds since the first day I came onto the ward.

Yesterday I was hit by a deep depression... but that's just part of the process... some days will be better than others and as long as I utilise the support available, I should be able to avoid any major spirals.

Last night I got triggered but I identified it for what it was (had gone to my bed space to cut)... went back out, asked for a prm (patient request medication) of diazepam and though yes I got further triggered by a surprise sound (I punched a wall as a result) I asked to speak to a member of staff before the anxiety built up to confusion/out of control point.

Member of staff spoke to me and it helped to bring me back down... to calm the erratic surge.

I hope that these above problems are not going to plague me forever (as they have up to now) but I am starting to identify the early onsets which is a good start.

Edit: Something just kicked off in the ward while I was writing this and the noises and shouting were distracting me and triggering the anxiety... stuck ear phones in asap and put music on to drown it out... eased off and calmed.