Maybe you see through everything while others are happy just judging things on the surface. I'm pretty cynical too. Others cling on to some kind of hope, while you think it's just false hope they believe in. I wish I wasn't so cynical, I'm so cynical that I don't think I should give MYSELF a chance or listen to my own voice.

But don't let your cynicism prevent you from giving things, including other people a chance, including your husband.

I hope you feel better, I don't have any advice, but what you said reminds me of me.