fir the first time seriously looking for spiritual faith at the peak of a manic break, read the first chapter of genisis as

start with the first line of the second chapter, right before 2.

then...

31
30 29
27 28
26
25 24
23 21 22 20
16 18 15 17 14
12 13 11
10 9
7 8 6
4 5 3
2 1

crazy huh?