Thank you for telling your story. I can relate very well to where you are right now. I was diagnosed over 20 years ago and self medicated for years. It worked for me for a couple of years but I ended up having to be hospitalized a few times and needed to start medication. I've been on everything under the sun with little success.

I went into a very deep depression while medicated about 3 years ago. I was hospitalized and given ECT treatments, again with little success.

I was started on lamictal about a year ago and started to feel better and had 6 months of stability but that ride ended in February when I went into a mixed episode that lasted 3 months. A very frightening experience.
I should say that I too had the same reaction to Abilify and was taken off of it immediately. Just over a month ago I was started on Latuda and the difference is like night and day for me. My head is clear, I'm becoming more social again after isolating for the last few years, I'm happy...I forgot what that felt like. My moods have stabilized, my fingers are crossed that it will stay this way. My energy is back and I'm hoping to go back to work after being on disability for the last 3 years.
So far so good.

It may take awhile to find the right med combo for you but you'll get there.

Good luck to you.