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Originally Posted by Skitz13
Thank you for telling your story. I can relate very well to where you are right now. I was diagnosed over 20 years ago and self medicated for years. It worked for me for a couple of years but I ended up having to be hospitalized a few times and needed to start medication. I've been on everything under the sun with little success.
I went into a very deep depression while medicated about 3 years ago. I was hospitalized and given ECT treatments, again with little success.
I was started on lamictal about a year ago and started to feel better and had 6 months of stability but that ride ended in February when I went into a mixed episode that lasted 3 months. A very frightening experience.
I should say that I too had the same reaction to Abilify and was taken off of it immediately. Just over a month ago I was started on Latuda and the difference is like night and day for me. My head is clear, I'm becoming more social again after isolating for the last few years, I'm happy...I forgot what that felt like. My moods have stabilized, my fingers are crossed that it will stay this way. My energy is back and I'm hoping to go back to work after being on disability for the last 3 years.
So far so good.
It may take awhile to find the right med combo for you but you'll get there.
Good luck to you.
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Wow, I am sorry to hear about your 3 month long mixed episode. That must have been extremely intense. I recall my experiences with two mixed episodes—and even as I'm typing this another scenario comes to mind—and all were terrifying.
So you've had positive results with Latuda, that's really great to hear! That must be a huge relief. That's somewhat, but to a lesser degree, how I felt shortly after starting Wellbutrin XL, but that quickly died off. Increased dosage, slight elevation that tapered off also. Still depressed, going on year and eight months now, with random hypomanic things interspersed throughout. Honestly, I have a lot of trouble recalling the past year or so, which I attribute to a PTSD relapse last October.
I realized I've been self medicating for years unknowingly. That's kind of a weird feeling to have about oneself. Well, I suppose it was always evident. Anything I did, I usually did to excess. I'm lucky worse things didn't happen to me or others around me. Example: driving 160 mph through a tunnel, solely because that was when the car redlined; did that multiple times with various people in the car), but sad other things happened (e.g., loss of two friendships, which were held as close at the time).
My pdoc suggested Latuda when I said I was thinking of Topamax. She told me she took it for antiseizure and it totally robbed her of her vocabulary. Horrible verbal recognition and recall. I want to try Topamax because its side effects, amongst being potentially relieving of bipolar depression, it also causes weight loss, which I feel I am "owed" having gained 20 lbs. thanks to Abilify. I know that logic might be ridiculous, but it was difficult from going to very active to completely inactive after a serious car accident, then having to utilize physical therapy to relearn how to engage muscles that just basically atrophied from non-use. And steroid treatments for back and hip injuries didn't help, either. Tried recently to get back into running only to almost immediately develop tendonitis in my previously injured hip. No more running for me, one of my previous major stress outlets. I really gotta get more exercise, it was always so stress relieving, even when it wasn't always pleasant.
Anyway, I feel I am rambling, and I apologize. Thank you for sharing your story, it gives me much to ponder as I prepare to speak with my psychiatrist later on today. Best of luck to you as well.