So about a month ago I realized my emotions seemed to be cycling. I did some research and went meh, probably, but whatever. Last week I had another outburst where I broke stuff and yelled at my girlfriend then got in this trance where I could not get away from being sad and that everything sucked. My girlfriend said something about me seeing someone and I got mad at her.

But now I've snapped out of it and in my hyper research mode and have been thinking about everything over the course of the last few years that could be symptoms of this. I've listed them below. Basically, I'm to the point where I think something may actually be up. But I'm not yet to the point where I want to see someone about it. Maybe some confirmation in this thread and support will help me get there.

Episodes (Cyclothymia?)
- Are becoming more frequent, but tend to be roughly once every 3 weeks
- Get easily upset, very irritable, "rage", hate life, extremely sad, extreme boredom, don't want to do anything, very pessimistic, feel worthless, want to be alone, stop caring about normal things
- Even though appear to have severe symptoms, I generally do okay in normal everyday life, and do not outwardly show these symptoms. Only myself and close relationships would be able to notice anything
- Usually very organized, very structured. During these periods don't care. Will binge eat, sleep less, etc
- Never lasts less than 2 days. However, sometimes ends about then though it's not overnight, it appears to be gradual improvement, sometimes lasts longer.
- Generally when I recover, I have periods of the opposite. I'm extremely motivated, want to accomplish everything, generally very focused.
- Usually very careful with money. Sometimes after recover, have tendency to abruptly quit job, move, buy cars, buy big purchase (have had 8 different cars in 8 years, have moved over 15 times)

Other notes
- Extremely structured in daily life. Eat, sleep, exercise at almost exactly the same time everyday. If those things are offset from normal, I do seem to have more issues with symptoms.
- Tend to have addictive tendencies. Never been addicted to alcohol or drugs. However, used to be addicted to Mtn Dew. Also get addicted to exercise.
- Have periods of hyperness. Used to be more severe when I was younger. But I have periods where I talk a lot, get very excited, very happy. Also shake my leg or tap my foot constantly.
- Have short periods of times where I have all these plans, confidence, organization, however don't always follow up on them
- Have trouble being content with everything. After getting what I've always wanted I tend to always look for something else, something more. Causing problems with cars, housing, relationships, etc.
- "think too much" - I'm constantly over analyzing, worrying, and thinking about things, and have a hard time making decisions over mundane things
- I've always known I've had these issues. Usually have pointed towards caffeine from mtn dew causing or stress/hormones from exercise causing.
- During periods of rage, I have tendency to throw things, break things, punch walls, etc
- Also have minor eating disorder and ocd tendencies
- Mother suffers from eating disorder and severe depression

Really I don't think my symptoms are that severe. I just want to 1) stop breaking stuff 2) stop being unable to snap out of my sadness, it tends to bring my girlfriend down too 3) stop buying stuff when I should be content with what I have.