Thanks both

Just had a half hour session with my named nurse... ironic as it was very informative, helpful and easy going (her last chance to talk to me before my discharge and her going on holiday is tomorrow)... a shame we struggled with rapport and trust (found it very difficult to open up to her) for so long... but at least we got there in the end.

We chatted about my difficulties with communicating and the worry that once out in the community, this limitation is going to effect any help I might receive from my cpn and the crisis team (hard to help someone who doesn't talk... or while in panic makes no sense). She has told me 'write it down!'; that when I'm struggling, to put it all on paper, the emotions, the confusion, the intent, the actions I am doing... document it so that when it comes to home visits I have something they can actually see.

If I am in crisis, to call my cpn (hours are 9-5)... or take myself to A&E out of hours/call 999 (crisis team are a short term measure for about 2 weeks after discharge so this was with regards to after that)... though with regards to what I've put into brackets, my nurse said to check with both the crisis team and cpn if I should call the crisis team when in crisis further down the line.

Will have outpatient appointments with a psychiatrist for medication review and of course the screening appointments for other issues they want to investigate.

She has also been really helpful in getting the ball rolling for out of hospital groups I can attend (creative writing and the like) and has given me the name and contact details of a mental health nurse who works in the community with these activities in mind. I am to go talk to him this Tuesday.

Not sure what the future holds for me... not sure about my predictability and impulsive nature when I am struggling... but help is there if I have presence of mind to reach for it which is certainly more than I had before... so for that I am grateful, a little more assured and have the feeling of hope that things will get better.