I joined this community so I could ask a question- is it weird to be 23 and a virgin?

My boyfriend and I have been together for quite a while. He's still a virgin and so am I. He wants to have sex. I'm terrified. He's very understanding and waiting, but when he's suggested us making love I've panicked. I start crying and I don't know why, other than I just plain feel terrified, like I'm going to be punished, hurt. There's a lot of reasons why- religious upbringing, fear of pregnancy, fear that if my parents ever found out they'd never speak to me again and somehow I've connected sex with abuse (I don't know if I was ever abused or not. I think I was sexually abused as a kid, and I was taken advantage of by a boyfriend in college, but I don't know if that counts.) We do other things, but I just can't go all the way.

My friends all tell me I'm being ridiculous. They say sex is a good thing; it doesn't hurt, and I'm supposed to enjoy it- I'm a grown woman now and should be able to have sex with my boyfriend in a committed, caring relationship.

I want to be normal. I want to know why everyone thinks sex is such a wonderful thing. But I just can't get myself to go through with it.